Unwanted Thoughts/Feelings?


Do you know what I mean? Sometimes some thoughts/feeling are coming into your head/heart, but you don’t really like them and/or you think that they’re “not yours”, but they keep coming again and again to bother you…

I have things like that all the time. Especially in dreams (dreams are some kind of thoughts and feelings in my opinion). I’ve thought, that they’re “not mine” and I should push them out of my mind/heart, but the opposite, of course they’re mine, I just think, that I don’t want them.

But the thing is, that I actually do. Nobody can put thoughts/feelings in my head/heart, of course they’re mine and I (should) want and deal with them, simply because there’s a reason for them to be there!

I know I’m not telling you something really new, smart or something, but I needed to write it out, 10x blogotherapy πŸ™‚

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10 Responses to “Unwanted Thoughts/Feelings?”

  1. Bain Says:

    Uh, yes, it is not new. Nor it is smart. Nor it is true. Handling them is easily done by ignoration, when you get used to it. If something pops in my head unwanted, I just ignored it, because focusing on it and trying to push it away will just give it the attention it needs – and no wonder that it wouldn’t disappear. Just like annoying people life. You can hit them, yes, but they may think of that as a showcase of affection, so it may not work out as intended. Ignoring them is the best approach. Being unable to ignore them shows weakness. Not trying to ignore them, but pushing them away, knowing that it will make them come back times stronger is just stupid. Thinking over them until they disappear is the second best approach, to be honest. But SECOND best. Not first.

    Ignoration works fineeeee for me.

    B.H.

    • teo Says:

      Ignoring people may work for you, it doesn’t work for me, because ignoring something is never clever.

      Ignoring something would be the first choice, AFTER I’ve understood it and I’m sure it doesn’t need more attention or consideration. If you ignore something right away, you’re not dealing with it and that’s not the best choice, because until it’s solved, it’ll keep coming back.

      You’re totally right about the focusing on something, but that’s not what I was talking about. I meant: here it comes, deal with it, understand it, make a check in the “done”-box. That’s the best approach for me πŸ™‚

      (You seem to be so afraid of weakness, that it makes you weak… ❓ )

  2. Bain Says:

    Damn right you should have put a question mark on that one. No, no it doesn’t make me weak hating weaknesses, cliches don’t work on the Bain.

    Seriously. Cliches REALLY don’t work on me. Before pushing the last sentence out of your head as un-accurate, think over it and just for a second imagine what it would be if that applied for you. Thaaaat’s right, feeeeeeeels niceeeeee.

    Why waste your time thinking it over instead of doing something valuable? If you have to deal with something, you can deal with it later, when you need to deal with it right away in real life, it is a different story. I mean, why waste your sleep, instead of sleeping? Why not go up on the roof and start swingin’ that sword /well, something normal instead can do too, like, erm… watching a show/. If something should be dealt with IMMEDIATLY, and NOT ignored, that only applies for real life situations rather than imaginary ones. In real life, you have to deal with problems, rather than ignoring them. In your head, no, you don’t have to and no one makes you.

    See, in real life, for example, two people are drowning. Jump in the lake and save them, OR yell for help because you are not sure if you can swim good enough to save both. Now that is where you should think for real instead of pushing it away/ignoring it. But man, thinking over and over if someone meant something when he said it to you /that is what I understand by “unwanted thoughts” for most people/ is just silly. IGNORE IT, my professional advice.

    B.H.

    • teo Says:

      Did I anger the big, strong Bain? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to be a cliche or an unaccurate statement, I meant it to be just a question πŸ™‚

      10x for the question yourself- to me it would feel pretty dull, to have focused so much on being strong out of fear of weakness, because it would not make me strong at all, If I don’t fight/understand my fear, but just keep learning new methods to avoid an confrontation with it by trying to be always strong, because it’s not possible not to have a single weakness and I’ll have to face it one day…
      I’m pretty sure, that it’s not like that to you (therefore a question mark πŸ˜‰ ), I’ll appreciate it if you share it πŸ™‚

      “thinking over and over if someone meant something when he said it to you /that is what I understand by β€œunwanted thoughts” for most people/ is just silly.” It’s not about that kind of thoughts. But the kind of thoughts doesn’t really matter, because it’s not thinking over and over, but just thinking over.

      I would say, I prefer to do preventive thinking, so that I’ll be optimal functional in an situation like you’ve described, you prefer not to do prevention and deal only with important, immediate situations. Good for me, good for you, ❓ πŸ˜‰

  3. Bain Says:

    Anger me? Pfew, what kind of emotion-ignoring guy would I be if I could be angered? Actually, I was trying to humor you on the second paragraph.

    And yesss, I guess good for me, and good for you. Whatever makes you happy.

    And no, actually, you can NEVER defeat all of your fears. That is impossible, and trying over and over on them will just increase your fear. For example, I hate highs, I REALLY HATE THEM. But that doesn’t stop me from saying “FUCK IT” and jumping off a high place every time I want to make myself a shortcut.

    Think it over, do you REALLY think that you can defeat your phobias by doing them over and over again? Think reeeeeleeeeey haaaaard.

    • teo Says:

      OK, I don’t know your humor, I’ve just noticed, that your tone has changed.

      Defeat all my fears? I don’t know what made you think, that I want it or think, that it’s the right thing to do. I can also just understand a fear and say “fuck it”, so on that topic I share your opinion completely…

      Whatever makes you happy too πŸ™‚

      ps. for the record, one question was left unanswered…

  4. Bain Says:

    I did answer it, I did say “Good for you, good for me” to the last question. Also, why am I remaining un-answered in the revenge topic?

    • teo Says:

      The good for me, good for you thing was about ignoring or thinking about something, I meant that you didn’t say why being afraid/hating/avoiding weakness doesn’t make you weak.

  5. Bain Says:

    Oh, right. Because weaknesses cannot be fought against. Not unless you want them to win. Ignore them, deny them – that is something else. Fight with all your soul, all your heart, screw anything else, and never bow down to temptation – that’s what strong is being all about. Being in control all the time. Strong is about control, and that is what I do. I ignore everything in order to do so, and I gotta say, my self control is greater than any you can imagine. I don’t remember having done ANYTHING that I would regret later from… Well… What is it, 5 years maybe? Everything I do I do for a reason, I control all my actions. Imagine how good that feels – never regretting anything. Yep, you should be jealous.

    B.H.

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