For about a month I’ve been thinking to myself that love is brainwash and I’ve been trying to falsify or verify this suggestion, but with no success. So I want to put order in my thoughts and see what will come up:
Basically for me stumbling over love changed everything. It was not exactly a change of what there was, but a major extension, an upgrade of the world as I knew it. And that upgraded world was really great, lovely, addictive, absorbing, infatuating etc. All perfect. I was insanely happy there and this happiness turned my value system and goals upside down (the brainwash).
The problem is, when for one reason or another I got out from that upgraded world for a while and saw, that the old world, as I knew it for so long, is still there, nothing has changed there, I haven’t changed there, I can still live there, but… not really be as happy as before (so a little change actually).
It’s like The Matrix, but I don’t know which world is real and which one is not, which me is the real me. The funny thing is how a person, a thought or idea from the past would pop up exactly in that moment of doubt and obsess my thoughts.
So to know if love is a brainwash, I have to find out which one is real. If it’s the first one, so love is clearly a brainwash. If the second one is real, the first one is just the beta version of it. But how can I define real?
Logically, since the first one was there in the beginning, it should be the real one. But even so, if I’m not that happy there, shouldn’t I just go be happier in the upgraded one? Actually I can’t, because knowing it’s not real is disturbing the happiness. But since the other is only upgraded, his realness doesn’t really deny the realness of the other one…
You know what, if light can have properties of waves and particles, I can have properties of the beta version and the upgraded one and they can both be true! Problem solved?
(I know that it may not be a problem at all or also doesn’t make any sense at all, but I can write what I want, so deal with it 😉 )