Lucky to be a woman TODAY :)


Yesterday was Women’s Equality Day and I didn’t have a chance to post this “on time”, but I still want to say it – I’m just so happy and lucky to be a woman TODAY, I enjoy so much freedom and I’m pretty satisfied with the treatment as an equal human being that I get.

I’m currently reading Women Who Kill, Ashwin recently posted Frames of Freedom: Freedom to Love and a lot of other little things reminded me lately how lucky I am to enjoy that much freedom in my womanhood and my existence in general. I would like to make it short and clear, so here is what I mean by “that much freedom”, that we take for granted most of the time, but a lot of people died fighting for it and that’s my way to say “thank you” to them:

1. I’m free to marry whoever I want to.

2. I’m also free to divorce him and while I’m married I have the right to own property, I have rights on my children and my own body, I’m not responsible for things that my husband do and I’m treated as an independent person by the law.

3. I’m also free not to marry, getting married is not the only possibility for me to survive and life a good life. I’m also free not to have children.

4. I’m free to work.

5. I’m free to vote, in other times I could get sued and worse for voting.

5. I’m free to be a witch, or a pagan (like Brea πŸ˜‰ ), or whatever I want, as long as I’m not hurting others by my actions.

6. I’m free to get an education (yeah right, as long as I can afford it, but that’s the same for men too).

7. I’m free to speak my mind (e.g. via this blog) and most of the people believe that I have a mind, that I can think and have an opinion, like a man can, that I’m a person like a man is a person and not that I’m just a cow that can look pretty for a couple of years, give birth, clean and cook, that men and women are different in nature and only men are gifted with reason. Some may say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars, but still they and most people believe that we’re equally evolutionary developed human beings. It’s not like I didn’t knew that times were different before, but this book amaze me with how women would get out of a law suit about murder (!), just because men would think and argue, that a woman could never have a motive like “he beats me and drinks away all the money for our children, I would be better off without him”, because a woman is not capable of thinking on her own and make logical conclusions, more over she’s not capable of not worshiping her man and living only through him. This one particularly I take for granted most of the time, but not so long ago it wasn’t, I’m so grateful to all the people who contributed in a way to make that kind of thinking natural.

8. I’m free to dress like I want and look like whatever I want, I’m free to have red hair etc.

9. I’m free to have sex when and with whoever I want.

10. I’m free to like having sex, to experience great sexual pleasure by having sex, I’m even free to want to have sex and initiate it.

Actually, I can go on and on – so I’ll stop here and let you tell me in the comments about the freedom and rights of women that you are grateful for πŸ™‚

Note: I’m not saying that it’s all good and that there’s nothing more left to do, because there is, but more on that soon.

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25 Responses to “Lucky to be a woman TODAY :)”

  1. helen Says:

    Also you don’t have to kill chickens and make dinner for your men and his children πŸ™‚

    • teo Says:

      Well, at least not directly πŸ˜‰ That one I don’t really find so bothering, as I was little and still when we go visiting my grandma we do have to kill chickens to make dinner…

      • helen Says:

        horrible. I am mostly thankful for that. I don’t have to kill animals, I don’t have to clean fish or chickens or whatever… brrrr
        It’s directly related to the fact that I don’t need to marry a man in order to survive and I don’t need to cook meat at tall if I don’t want to

        • teo Says:

          If you don’t want to kill animals – don’t eat them. When you buy meat in the supermarket you just pay someone to do the “dirty job” for you, but the animals do still get killed and in a lot more horrible way than I or my grandma would do it… It’s not horrible, it’s natural in my opinion.

          Yep, you can be a vegetarian, a vegan etc. – today you have the oppurtunity to surve with much wider variety of foods and food supplies, that doesn’t necessarily include meat.

          You’re still not that free either, you may not have to marry someone, but you still have to work in order to survive, you also have to eat, still you can choose what πŸ˜‰

          • helen Says:

            but as you pointed out in the publication only less than a century ago it would not have been possible for a woman to go without marrying a man. and if she married one she would have to cook for him. and men don’t go without meat πŸ™‚
            see my logic πŸ™‚

  2. helen Says:

    ooppsss I meant “man”
    haha

  3. godlesspaladin Says:

    Those are all awesome things πŸ™‚ I’m afraid your situation in Europe is much better than the situation for women here. 😦 In the US women still get payed less than men for the same work, and there are a LOT more men in government than women, despite women making up 50% of the population. Back in 2007 when we were trying to decide who would run against the republicans, Hillary or Obama, lots of people attacked Hilliary for being a woman. They said she was a lesbian for wanting a man’s job, and that it was dangerous to have someone with PMS in control of our nuclear stockpile….

    In other races some of the conservative candidates went so far to actually tell liberal female candidates to “get back in the kitchen”
    ( http://godlesspaladin.wordpress.com/2010/04/24/women-belong-in-the-kitchen/ ) Our women also suffered when we attempted to pass healthcare. The male politicians wanted to have the government pay for their viagra, but didn’t want the program to cover the birth control pill. (And don’t get me started on the war on women’s reproductive rights in this county…. >.< ) I know I'm a man, but it sickens me to see other people treated that way.

    The worst thing is the new group of conservative women, like Sarah Palin. Although they're women, if you look at their positions and goals, they are very anti-women's rights. Most of them have been brainwashed by an extremely religious upbringing to think they should serve men.

    • teo Says:

      See – exactly those are the things I wanted to talk about in a “what’s still to do”-thing, I just wanted to stay positive here, because really back then the problems women had were way bigger.

      Don’t get the impression that it’s that better in Europe, in Germany the difference in payment between women and men for the same work is one of the biggest in Europe (23%). I’m really glad when I see a man being on the “women-side”, because other men usually respect his opinion more (sadly) and you’re not the only one πŸ™‚

      Actually I can understand the conservative women, I think that they simply like the benefits of being discriminated (there are some, yep) more than the benefits of being treated equality.

      We’re not on the final line, there’s still a lot to do and I’m convinced that it’ll be done sooner or later and there’ll be equality, not only regarding women, but all people.

  4. Bain Says:

    You got stuck on the sex I think. And last I checked, sexual pleasure wasn’t forbidden before feminism. Also, I can’t understand why the damn equalization of women is spoken on and on by everyone. I mean, the places where people were treated like less of a person were only a FEW. Truth be told, they were only in the major, most “civilized” countries, while the “barbarians” from the deep east always treated their women good.

    Actually, without mumbling nonsense about how all women got freed on this day so many years ago, perhaps one should focus on what the fuck was wrong in those countries in the first place if there was equalization fights starting over there.

    If you feel lucky to be a woman only TODAY, something is wrong with you.

    Also, some countries’ traditions about daughters and them being married for a man from the decision of the father are still in order… And I gotta say, that is not so bad. Usually parents are able to recognize and would choose the best possible companion for their own, because after all, as much as a random male can care for their daughter, they would always want her best. Usually, most the romantic/stupid stories you hear about a girl moaning about how she loves someone else, not the one of choosing from her parents, is because she DIDN’T get to choose, not because the choice is bad. Which, in my opinion, is idiotic. Really.

    Equalization? Fighting for it? Well, hopefully it was worth it. Hopefully you are certain that the women from the 21st and late 20th century were better than those from centuries before that. I know I am not, but meh, that probably goes for all human beings…

    Excuso.

    • teo Says:

      “And last I checked, sexual pleasure wasn’t forbidden before feminism” – As far as I know in a severely religious society (like it was a while back) sex was not for fun, but only for reproduction, it was considered a sin (especially for women) to enjoy it and to have intercourse with other purpose than reproduction.

      “the β€œbarbarians” from the deep east always treated their women good.” – I’ve missed that, what do you mean by good? Some people were saying that New England is the Paradise for women, because there was a lack of women and even an ugly or old one could be bought in marriage for a lot money and could marry again and again, but that doesn’t sound that good to me for example.

      Why should we focus on what was wrong with them and not be happy about what we have now?

      “If you feel lucky to be a woman only TODAY, something is wrong with you.” – I don’t mean today like the 27.08.10 and otherwise – I’m only a women today, I can’t know how did it felt like to be a women 500 years ago or something.

      “Usually parents are able to recognize and would choose the best possible companion for their own” – as far as I know they don’t really choose on these criteria, otherwise – if you like it, let your parents choose your wife, but you should have the free choose of either you want to choose by yourself or let your parents do it. No one should be forced to live his life with someone he can’t stand being around or something. Both my grandmas had an arranged marriage – it wasn’t that pretty…

      “Hopefully you are certain that the women from the 21st and late 20th century were better than those from centuries before that. I know I am not, but meh, that probably goes for all human beings…” – I’m certain that they are having more freedom, I’m not saying, that they are better.

      Figurati πŸ™‚

  5. Asian Butterfly Says:

    I am free to be with the people i want to be with.

    i am free to cry when i want to.

    i am free to commit mistakes and learn from them.

    πŸ™‚

    • teo Says:

      Yep, and you’re also responsible only for your own mistakes and not for the ones of your husband too or something.
      Glad to see you here, hope that you’re better now πŸ™‚

  6. Lisa Marie Bowman Says:

    Wow, loved this post. πŸ™‚ I’d add to your list of freedoms that I have the freedom to read the words of other women who aren’t ashamed of who we are.

    As for Brian, who left the comment regarding how sexual pleasure existed before feminism — Brian, get a clue. Sexual pleasure existed for you but women were supposed to view it as being a part of their duty and nothing else. I’m sorry that men like you are so threatened by the idea that women might actually enjoy sex as well.

    • teo Says:

      Thank you, Lisa πŸ™‚ I’m always happy to see new people here. Acceptance for differences is still an issue, but the situation is fortunately a lot better nowadays πŸ™‚

  7. Bain Says:

    Hey, you, the female – I don’t mind pleasure at all, and I am pretty sure that man actually paid to see it long before equalisation. Also, Brian you will call the unlucky man who gets to your playmate. I am Bain. And that is probably obvious by my nickname, so you sound just insulting and I won’t bother arguing with low-intelligent primate that needs to have someone that fought for her rights 60 years ago to feel free.

    Also, only in SOME cultures women weren’t allowed to express their pleasure. I am pretty darn sure that you weren’t there, and the same way you can say that my sources are fake, I could say the same for yours.

    Also, Lisa Marie Bowman, you are a lesser being only if you allow yourself to be so. I am damn sure that if you had the guts inside to be what you want to be, you would have been.

    I am certain one more thing – women and men are different, and they always were. Equalisation is nothing good, because saying that sexes are the same is a complete lie. There is no building, anywhere, built by a woman. Designed, maybe. But a woman builder? No, that may ruin their nail polish!

    Maybe going out of topic, but it just needs to be said. You know why man and women would never be the same, equal, or anything like that? Because the men don’t make a lot of noise for nothing. You got your rights. Keeping all and all discussing how you get different treatment because YOU ARE different being than the men is what bugs me. Feminish shouldn’t be alive when there is nothing else for it to fight for. Something is messed up with that.

    • Lisa Marie Bowman Says:

      Dear Brian:

      *yawn*

      I’m sorry, were you saying something?

      Love,

      Lisa

    • teo Says:

      No one said that it was so or so in ALL cultures… I don’t understand the argument there, today it’s still very different in some cultures. I’m talking mostly about the culture in Europe and USA, because these are the ones that I’m familiar with, even thought not by personal experience in all the time they’ve existed. Considering only our personal experiences as a reliable source of information just can not work.

      Also no one (or at least I’m not) is fighting about getting women and men to be the same, because they are different, but simply to be equally treated by the law, in the business world etc., to be viewed as people, women = person & men = person and people are different – that’s OK, it’s not OK for one gender to be viewed and treated as more quality person than the other or something.

      With the post I wanted exactly to point out how much feminism has achieved already and that’s a lot, but not everything e.g. women becoming 23% less money than men for the same work in Germany πŸ™‚

  8. I Have Been Put In My Place « Where the Nightbirds Settle Says:

    […] Earlier today, I commented on a post over at another blog. […]

  9. Bain Says:

    See, that is what I mean. Dear Teo, I know some nice feminists. You, my sister, etc, etc. But this Lisa is the best example of the typical dumbass feminist. You go on and tell her that she was never a slave, that she actually had rights before the equalisation, that it wasn’t all grim dark as she IMAGINES, because she can’t know for sure, and if someone told her that it wasn’t at all that bad, she’d swear at you, because she needs something to make her feel like more of a woman.

  10. Lisa Marie Bowman Says:

    Actually Brian, I wouldn’t swear at Teo even if she told me that because, just judging from her posts and her comments, I imagine that Teo would tell me that in a polite way and would be willing to defend her arguments without descending into personal insults.

    I never said that everything was grim and dark. I did say that things were a bit more dark than you made out. I never said I didn’t have any rights. I did say that I have more rights now.

    Actually, it sounds like you need something to make you feel more like a man.

    Anyway, this is really rude of me to get into a fight on someone else’s blog and I apologize to Teo. Though not to you, Brian.

    • teo Says:

      Thank you, Lisa πŸ™‚ You don’t have to apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong, neither did Bain, different people, different opinions, different ways to express them – it happens. If it gets too personal or offending I can always moderate the comments πŸ™‚

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