So, so – Nezzo wants to know what I dream about/what’s my dream?
That’s kind of a weird coincidence, because while I was in Bulgaria, having dinner with my parents and some friends we were talking about a similar topic. As you know I’ve got my BSc this year and my mother said something like “The first step to achieving her dream is done, remember how we never took her seriously when she began talking about becoming a psychologist and how we didn’t want her to study it?” (I knew I want to be a psychologist since I was 11, at that time my parents didn’t knew anything about it and thought that it’s not a prospective profession).
That got me thinking – is that still my dream? Like dream dream? It seems just so trivial now, I even had doubts about it as my dream profession, now I feel it more like – “ok, that’s what I want to be in professional aspect”, but my dream???
A dream for me is the idea of what would make you happy, satisfied, a direction you go towards to. Being very poor and with the not-really-money-bringing reputation of the psychologist profession in Bulgaria I can see how at the age of 11 it looked like the ultimate personal achievement for me to become a successful psychologist on my own (everyone being against it only made my will and wish stronger of course). Now I’m really one step closer to it, so I can see that although it’s important for me to achieve that “childhood dream” it’s way not enough to make me happy and give me direction.
One friend we were having dinner with that night always supported my wish to become a psychologist back then. After my mother said that about me being closer to achieving my dream, that friend said how she still regrets it that her parents managed to push her into studying medicine, while she really wanted to study pharmacy. Although she’s a very successful medic now and has a beautiful family, obviously that little thing disturbs her happiness a little bit and probably that’s the reason she supported me and stood up for me back then.
So why am I telling you this? Being a psychologist is not my dream, it wouldn’t make me happy, although I need it in order to be happy, it’s the necessary, but not sufficient condition for my happiness. Also a necessary and almost (!) sufficient condition is having a happy little (or may be a big one too) family. But even now I can see and feel how something still would be missing.
For that we have to go a couple of years back to my earlier “childhood dream” – to become a president in order to make things better. So what I really dream about is change, change to the better (may be that’s why I need to change jobs and addresses at least once every year, if I had enough money I would also change countries, but I’m not there yet)
I don’t find my childhood dream irrational or unachievable, being a president was simply the only imaginable position for me at that time, that would allow me to make a difference. The pure idea of child-me was to become something, that could make things better and that hasn’t changed a bit!
(I want change, but in a not rebellious way, not rebellious in the way most people see it, but in president and not Robin Hood way. I simply believe that in order to destroy the system, you have to be an important part of it and destroy it from the inside)
So, my dear readers – what do you dream about/what is your dream?
(I’ll not tag single persons, I really would like to know that from everyone who’s willing to share)