“Ow, you’re so naive”
“Come on, there’s no way that you really are so naive”
“It’s so sweet that you still think so, but let’s talk again when you grow up.”
I’m hearing stuff like that all the time and I’m getting sick of it. But I’m not getting sick of explaining why I am like that, because I see it as an advantage and the better choice for me. Surprisingly for me some people also call me romantic, while I don’t consider myself so. I guess being romantic is as childish as being naive and some people consider them the same or at least belonging together.
I get the impression that what most people mean with “grown up” is a person, who has “won” a certain level of cynicism through his life experience. That should mean that while going through life, you definitely get so disappointed with people and humanity, that you lose faith in them and your default setting becomes “this person is bad and I have to be careful and mistrusting”.
What does being naive mean to me? Although I’ve experienced a lot of disappointments and was hurt in many ways, I refuse to change my default settings to the “grown up”-settings and I still believe in the good in people -> I’m apparently naive.
Why am I naive? I think that it’s stupid not to be. Being cynical and mistrusting per default simply produce more cynicism and untrustworthy acts. A cynical world is not my dream world. If it is your dream world, then go wild and be cynical. But if you don’t approve the development of society, the only way to fight it in my opinion is to give people some credit.
If it’s expected of me to be hurtful, selfish, dishonest etc. and people behave like I am like that till proven otherwise, it’s simply the easier choice to meet their expectations. It’s easier to be “bad”, selfish, cynical etc., if that’s what “you’re supposed to become when you grow up”, what’s the more reasonable choice.
Today you have to prove yourself “good” and trustworthy, nobody expects you to be so, nobody will be happy about it per se, first they’ll doubt your motives etc. You have to put a lot of effort in prove yourself good, be acknowledged and accepted as such.
( Naive has a touch of innocence. If you manage to keep your innocence you’re really lucky. Everyone wants to take it, most bad things that can happen to you have exactly this consequence – they steal your innocence. Innocence has such a drawing power exactly because most people consider it lost and you want what you don’t have even more. So after something bad has happened to you, giving up your naivety and innocence means losing the last battle, declaring yourself defeated etc. Survive the bad things and keep your innocence – you’re the winner! )
Most people will always choose the easiest way. By being “naive” and giving some credit to people per default, I make “being good” the easier choice for them. And most people make this easier choice and are “good in return“.
You have the choice – you can make the first step or wait for the other person to make it and justify it … Or what do you think?
*I get called naive and consider myself so, because I believe that people are good in nature etc., not because I’ll get in the car of a stranger, if he says, that he has candy…