Why am I naive* and proud of it…


“Ow, you’re so naive”

“Come on, there’s no way that you really are so naive”

“It’s so sweet that you still think so, but let’s talk again when you grow up.”

I’m hearing stuff like that all the time and I’m getting sick of it. But I’m not getting sick of explaining why I am like that, because I see it as an advantage and the better choice for me. Surprisingly for me some people also call me romantic, while I don’t consider myself so. I guess being romantic is as childish as being naive and some people consider them the same or at least belonging together.

I get the impression that what most people mean with “grown up” is a person, who has “won” a certain level of cynicism through his life experience. That should mean that while going through life, you definitely get so disappointed with people and humanity, that you lose faith in them and your default setting becomes “this person is bad and I have to be careful and mistrusting”.

What does being naive mean to me? Although I’ve experienced a lot of disappointments and was hurt in many ways, I refuse to change my default settings to the “grown up”-settings and I still believe in the good in people -> I’m apparently naive.

Why am I naive? I think that it’s stupid not to be. Being cynical and mistrusting per default simply produce more cynicism and untrustworthy acts. A cynical world is not my dream world. If it is your dream world, then go wild and be cynical. But if you don’t approve the development of society, the only way to fight it in my opinion is to give people some credit.

If it’s expected of me to be hurtful, selfish, dishonest etc. and people behave like I am like that till proven otherwise, it’s simply the easier choice to meet their expectations. It’s easier to be “bad”, selfish, cynical etc., if that’s what “you’re supposed to become when you grow up”, what’s the more reasonable choice.

Today you have to prove yourself “good” and trustworthy, nobody expects you to be so, nobody will be happy about it per se, first they’ll doubt your motives etc. You have to put a lot of effort in prove yourself good, be acknowledged and accepted as such.

( Naive has a touch of innocence. If you manage to keep your innocenceΒ you’re really lucky. Everyone wants to take it, most bad things that can happen to you have exactly this consequence – they steal your innocence. Innocence has such a drawing power exactly because most people consider it lost and you want what you don’t have even more. So after something bad has happened to you, giving up your naivety and innocence means losing the last battle, declaring yourself defeated etc. Survive the bad things and keep your innocence – you’re the winner! )

Most people will always choose the easiest way. By being “naive” and giving some credit to people per default, I make “being good” the easier choice for them. And most people make this easier choice and are “good in return“.

You have the choice – you can make the first step or wait for the other person to make it and justify it … Or what do you think?

*I get called naive and consider myself so, because I believe that people are good in nature etc., not because I’ll get in the car of a stranger, if he says, that he has candy…

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25 Responses to “Why am I naive* and proud of it…”

  1. godlesspaladin Says:

    You know, I never thought of it that way, but now that you mention it, yeah, I guess people do assume “growing up” means becoming jaded and cynical.

    While I have become more cynical and jaded over the years, I do think it is a good idea to trust someone until they give you a reason not to. You’re right, automatically assuming they’re going to screw you over just makes them less inclined to care.

    • teo Says:

      That’s interesting coming from you πŸ™‚ I’ve always considered atheism as one of the foundation of the modern, cynical man and I’m glad to see, that other atheist would also support naivety…

  2. bpdisme Says:

    Interesting post. Thanks for sharing. πŸ™‚

  3. helen Says:

    Very well said! Logical and persuasive. Well done!

    I just want to reassure you that there are many people that share the same mindset and act accordingly. It’s only that the other type of people is louder.

    • teo Says:

      “Logical and persuasive” – Yeah, right πŸ˜€

      Yes, I know that I’m not the only one and that’s really nice, but talking about it may “convert” other people too, so that we’ll become the majority in the future πŸ™‚ Being the minority is not that bad either, but it’s just the first stage of a change, every majority now was a minority at some point…

  4. alonewithcats Says:

    But how will I ever lure you into my car? Not with candy. Hmm. Maybe cats? Would you get into a stranger’s car full of cats? I know I would.

    • teo Says:

      πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€ no, not really… who knows what will these adorable cats do to me πŸ˜‰ Something to lure me into a car…. hm…. I’ll have to think about it, but at least now I know how to lure you, I guess a copy of Julie Andrews will do it too πŸ˜‰

  5. lancekleon Says:

    It’s a good thing. You should keep it. It’s a sad thing most people take advantage of this, shame on them as humans. People keep saying it’s a bad thing, but the thing is if the world are 100% naive, you can be sure not even a single crime would happen. Not to mention naive is one of the human natures, it seems to me people just don’t care about the natural state. But as far as I am concerned, if the Society had follow the natural state of the human, you could be sure the world will be a way better place.

  6. Arun Says:

    @ lancekleon / teo – There are a couple of other natural states of humans that come to mind i.e. self preservation (responding however necessary in the face of danger) and desire for more comfort (simply put – Greed).

    Imagine asking your employee why something didn’t get done. In a bid to preserve self he / she claims to have been unwell. You can naively let it pass. But did you then do justice to your organisation? The behavior would then persist and propagate further.

    Greed which is another human instinct (albeit completely negative and undesirable) is another state which acts at cross purposes with the natural state of ‘naiveness’.

    Teo – Dont get me wrong. I couldn’t agree more with you. I just thought of giving the discussion another dimension which is quite often seen in life.

  7. Chase Ellsworth Says:

    This made me very happy. πŸ™‚ People say I am naive all the time, even my family. Someone at work asked me if ‘I thought I was normal’ two days ago. I replied ‘Whatever normal is, that is the one thing I fear to be’ (No, actually I wished thats what I would have said). At the time I just said no, not really). I find myself being able to have full conversations with people by the data I have collected from them so far. Is that weird? I don’t know. I don’t care. I do know I love getting into a conversation with someone about something I’ve put a lot of deep thought into. The words just pour out and it makes me happy to let them flow like a river… wow, I just found your blog from searching the word ‘naive’. Sorry, if I am typing to much. Perhaps I should start my own blog. I love to write songs but not everything needs to be a song. This is very enjoyable. Its like I’m talking to myself but I am writing in response to a thought your blog provoked in me. Well, I’ll try to keep this to less than 1000 words.. I need to go to bed anyways. I suppose I’ll get back to what I was saying lol.. I think that believing is seeing. If we believe everyone is bad, that is all we will perceive. If everyone just sought the good in others we could help one another, to nurture that goodness inside and let it grow. To sharpen one another. Once people get to know me they realize I am not what people tend to call naive (i.e. β€œpeople who don’t think a lot or logically.”) I think a lot, I think all the time actually. I think about my thoughts. I think, therefore I am. When I question my own thoughts, I wonder who I am speaking to. When I do something I don’t want to be doing, I am alone, and I am ashamed, who am I ashamed to? Is it God? I can’t say for sure because I have never seen him nor could I prove his existence to anyone. That is a revelation that cannot be translated, spoken, or shared with anyone but by your own self. It is entirely yours. No one knows your thoughts as you think them nor can truly know your motives. Thats why I think people trying to convince others to believe in their religion to believe what they believe is silly. Each sees, perceives, and believes as he/she lives his/her life. However, I do know that whatever it is, it strives to make me better. I am not a very religious person, however I do try and hold on to what I find to be true in life. Writing about it certainly helps! πŸ˜‰ I find it to be true, you will find what you seek. Thanks for doing this blog. I am alone in a new state that I moved to and have had trouble finding people that are like me. Perhaps I am just too unwilling to change, or maybe I am scared to grow. -Chase

    • teo Says:

      Hey Chase,

      thank you very much for the interesting response. For me this is the magic of the internet, you are alone with your thoughts and then you just search for like-minded-people and voila – there they are πŸ™‚
      I’m very glad that an old post of mine make you think about this topic more and maybe from a bit different angle and I hope, that you have found some insights foryourself in this late-night-thoghts.

      Writing is always a good idea, when you want to let your thoughts pour out, so keep on writing and take care πŸ˜‰

  8. Chase Ellsworth Says:

    Teo,

    Thanks for the reply to my message πŸ™‚ I was beginning to think that you didn’t write anymore. I was simply grateful I found your blog, and now, what a pleasant surprise! Something else that helps me relate is reading! Even if all the people that were like me died, I would know they existed because of books (or blogs) written by them! My favorite books of all time (so far) are the The Auto Biography of Benjamin Franklin: a witty, insightful, captivating, uplifting, inspiring tale of a man who had nothing except for his thoughts yet became one of the most influential men who ever lived. He made a huge impact on the whole world and his thoughts turned into realities. He was also a firm believer that the world was essentially good πŸ˜‰ Some of my other favorite reads, although I am not religious, are the books of The Bible! My favorites are Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. Both were written by King Solomon who was the son of The Great King David. God was so pleased with Solomon that he granted him one request (wish). i.e. (riches, virgins, land, power). Solomon chose Wisdom.. which BLOWS my mind! Pleased with Solomon’s humble request God granted him wisdom as well as riches, power, and women. Solomon would be the wisest and richest man who would ever walk the earth. Ecclesiastes is my favorite book of all time because Solomon had everything that any man could ever want. He wrote about his journey to seek what is good for man during his life. He wrote that he did not deny himself any pleasure and exercised every thought. He came to the conclusion that all is vanity, a chasing after the wind. (Yes, I read your post about vanity!) Many read the book and say that it is very grim, however, I disagree and find it very enlightening! It makes me want to stop seeking worldly things in vain and seek something greater. πŸ™‚ -Chase

    • teo Says:

      Hey Chase πŸ™‚

      well, I have to admit that I kind of don’t write on the blog anymore, but it’s not like I don’t to do so again in the future, just right now I’m not in a good personal state and don’t really feel like writing… But if you’ve made an efford to read my article and write a post, even thought the blog seems death, of course I can at least make the same efford and respond to you πŸ™‚ More over comments are really what makes internet and blogs awesome, so I don’t want you to feel like a voice in a desert, even if the blog is a desert, the comment section is an oasis you can say πŸ˜‰

      Anyway…. thanks for the great book suggestions, I haven’t read the Biography of Benjamin Franklin and it really sounds interesting. The tale of Solomon is also fascinating, the conclusion that it’s all vanity reminds me of the end sence in The Devil’s Advocate, it really is all vanity… but that doesn’t stop people from having also many pure good features, which makes being naive the winning position in encountering others.

      I really liked one Ted Talk on the topic of trust, it’s called “The currency of the new economy is trust”. Althouth it’s very economy-driven, it shows how improtant trusting athers is, and being naive is nothing more than giving people a little credit per default. I really feel like we are going to a time period of trust, the whole new shareconomy is based on trust and I believe that especially the internet and the feeling of “all people are like you” gives us the security of allowing ourselfs to trust others. E.g. my mothers would never let me go hitch-hiking because it is dangerous and today there are stuff like uber, mitfahrgelegenheit is a really big deal and Germany and so on… So naive is coming in fashion πŸ™‚

      Best Wishes
      teo

  9. Chase Ellsworth Says:

    Teo, I watched the TED talk on trust economy. I really enjoy TED talks, much better than TV πŸ™‚ I wholly agree that trust is a very valuable tool one can have. It has helped me much in my life. Solomon said a good name is worth more than fine jewels. I believe trust is a fluid thing as well. It is constant and can be felt. My only strife is the idea of the internet. I think people often compare themselves to one another sometimes even subconsciously. I believe to much comparing and too little self-evaluation and change can lead to depression which is sweeping over the US. People are obsessed with the idea of looking happy. Its become so much about whats going on inside to what does it “look” like. I am a magician and I have studied the art of deception for many years. I think this deception is more than fooling others but has become so that people fool themselves by believing they are what the internet says they are. Instead of seeking within oneself to find answers people look to the internet. I do believe in trust on the internet, as I trust you are who you say you are because I have read much of your blog and feel a sense of connection and likeness that makes me feel trust towards you. However, on the internet I also see people who smile for the camera but are not happy, people who believe if they don’t post it on the internet it didn’t happen. Also with the rise of the porn industry the internet and its users create a high demand for the market. Therefore suppliers are resorting to human trafficking and worser things. I live in the states where there is a ignorance bubble that keeps that kind of stuff under wraps. I am aware it goes on. My fear is that the internet is eradicating something very special. Intimacy. Very little is sacred anymore. I long for when interaction used to be intimate, a smile used to mean someone was happy. People reduce themselves to a virtual image now. I want the real thing. Without a doubt the economy is moving further and further towards the internet and will continue to do so. I suppose I simply wish for the preservation of genuineness. As these are my opinions I hope they aren’t found offensive in any way. I suppose I wouldn’t mind if the internet did not exist. However, you give me hope the perhaps the internet isn’t such terrible thing. Best regards.
    -Chase.

    • teo Says:

      Hey Chase,

      I’m glad you liked the Ted talk – maybe we should move this conversation to private e-mails, it’s gone way over commenting on the post I think…

      Regarding the internet, it’s very simple I think – the internet is just like people (of course, the “internet” is the people using it) – it can be heartwarming and wonderful, but also just awful… there’s everything out there, one just need to find the best way ot get the best bits of it πŸ™‚

      You are making me so glad with your comment, that I kind of feel like blogging again… thank you for that feeling, Chase – you reminded me about the beauties of the internet πŸ™‚

      Hugs
      teo

    • freedownloads728 Says:

      i like you, mate, you’re crazy. in the good way of course.

  10. We are here to transform energy | little coping koala Says:

    […] peace of the internet and I’ll be posting just as I feel like it. Here I wantΒ to thank Chase again for the great comments, that motivated me to post again […]

  11. Tiny chopa Says:

    Naivety is legit bliss. People want me to be miserable like them. NEVER

  12. Kizz Says:

    I was having a discussion at work today about mental illness (how its becoming more and more acceptable. People can talk about it now and rightly so!) When my colleague asked if i had a mental illness because im so happy all time. I obviously laughed it off. When i got home i started thinking that maybe it was stupid to be so trusting and chipper and actually my outlook on life might me a little naive. I Googled ‘is it bad to be naive.” I Google anything and everything. When in doubt…google. anyways… i came across this and its perfect! I like how i am. I like my little bubble and im proud to always look for the best in people. Thankyou! Haha

    • teo Says:

      Ow, that’s so sweet πŸ™‚ and also so sad, that people would think, someone may have a mental illness, because beeing happy all the time is so rare and strange… I really hope that you keep that illness, sound nice to me πŸ˜‰

  13. Gbloom Says:

    Just when I was feeling a little bad about being called naive, your post made my day. It feels good to know that there are others out there just like me. Being naive is actually a blessing. I don’t understand why others don’t see it that way. Anyway, I’m happy about me and the way I am and that’s what matters most. πŸ™‚ I love me & my Life. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

    • teo Says:

      That’s so sweet, it really is a blessing and I am happy for you πŸ™‚ I believe when other people have lost their naivity and actually theits faith in humanity with it, they fail to see the blessing in having it…

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