The tittle says it all actually. I have the feeling, that the older I get, the more anxious I get. When I was like 16 or something I was “fearless” – an accident, a killer on the next corner, an apocalypse, I didn’t care. I didn’t bother thinking about it. I felt strong, lucky, kind of prepared and sure in my survival. Kind of “So what if there is a killer on the next corner, I know that I’ll find a way to escape and/or kick his/her ass, to survive”. Not that I was really stronger or anything, this was just my state of mind and it was helpful in many situations.
Today it’s not really so. I just have the feeling, that even if I survive it like before, it’ll have more dramatic consequences. I have the feeling that certain survival tactics, while survivable for the rough loner-me, are not survivable for the good, humanistic, loved, loving and future-orientated me.
I don’t know if that makes any sense to you, but I can put it in a simple question: Are you more anxious now as when you were younger and why?