Pre-birthday Depression 2.0


So, the 22.11 is coming around the corner and with it of course – my annual pre-birthday depression too. Since this year I don’t have the requirements (space, money, time) for applying the number one way of fighting a pre-birthday depression, I’m so glad that I find another way to feel better about myself right before my birthday.

In the past couple of days I’ve been sleepy, shiftless, sluggish, sick, I’ve been overeating, doing nothing, being mean, angry, bitchy, touchy etc. – the usual stuff. Today there was this really cool ballet-show that I wanted to see and of course I wanted to see it with someone. So I was really exited that one of my new classmates said, that she wanted to see it too.  But as you can guess, she turned me down in the last minute, so I went to see it on my own.

For some people this may be nothing special or unusual, but for me it was like exactly what I needed. I never go to shows on my own, I don’t like eating on my own etc. But today I was just thinking: “Fuck you other people, fuck you feeling bad before my birthday – I want to see that show and I’m going to see it!” This attitude just made me feel better about myself. (ok, I didn’t talk to anyone in the break, but I still have to save me some stuff for next year, right?)

So I go to the theater and there is only ONE student ticket available at the box office and nobody has picked it up 5 minutes before the show. The man on the box office said to me “Spontaneity pays off sometimes”. Hell yeah it does!!!

Conclusion: Note to self for the future – as assumed, spontaneity pays off sometimes, so if I feel like doing or feeling something – I’ll just do it 😉

PS. I know that I could simply watch a Nike commercial and learn the same thing, but coming to the conclusion that way just felt so good…

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18 Responses to “Pre-birthday Depression 2.0”

  1. greengeekgirl Says:

    I’m glad you enjoyed the show! Sometimes it does feel completely awesome to just get out there and DO stuff.

  2. godlesspaladin Says:

    I know how you feel, and I do the same thing. I really started being spontaneous after I turned 18 and wasn’t subject to curfews. “It’s late and I want to go out and see a movie…why not? I’m going!” At first it was really depressing going out to see movies by myself, but I eventually stopped caring. Sometimes I’d also do things simply because I could. My friends thought it was weird sometimes that I drove out to the 24/hrs store at 3am to get a coffee, but I could and doing it felt great. :p

    How long has your birthday made you depressed? Do presents make you depressed? (They always make me depressed, thinking about writing a post on it)

  3. bpdisme Says:

    Similarly, last week I was supposed to see a movie with a friend, who bailed at the last minute. It was *just* after a difficult therapy session, too. I usually have a routine with another friend after my appointments, serving as a nice distraction (helps with containment as well). Anyway, I decided to go see the movie by myself and was proud of myself for doing so. I had a great, relaxing time! Feels good to do things independently, doesn’t it? Now that you mention it, I get kind of in a funk around my bday as well. *hugs*

  4. teo Says:

    @ggg 😉 yep, and just do stuff my yourself too 🙂

    @gp 😉 I’ve always been spontaneous, but I’ve hardly ever done stuff by myself. And I get what you mean – I’m always so happy e.g. to order food home, just because I can 🙂 The time for the pre-birthday depression varies from 3 months to 3 days before the bd by me. Presents don’t make me depressed, it could make me depressed seeing that nobody knows me good enough to get me a good present, but presents per se don’t make me depressed. Interesting topic, write the post 😉

    @bpdisme Meeting a friend after the session – a really good idea! Glad that you get the good feeling that got to me last night *hugs* 😉

  5. Diana Says:

    Also ich wär mitgekommen 😀
    Aber hey, du fängst jetzt schon mit den Prä-Geburtstags-Depressionen an?? Ich kenne das bis jetzt nur von Jungs in dem Alter. Da wird es dann von Jahr zu Jahr schlimmer. Was soll denn dann in 10 Jahren sein?! Mach dir mal keinen Stress, freu dich lieber auf Montag! Es wird sicher ein wunderschöner Tag in Hamburg und wir werden an dich denken!!
    Liebe Grüße
    ___________________________________________
    I would have come with you 😀
    But hey, you start with the pre-birthday depression now??? By now I know this only from man in your age. And it get worse every year. How should it be in 10 years? Take it easy, be exited about Monday! It’ll be a wonderful day in Hamburg and we’ll be thinking about you!!!
    Best wishes

    • teo Says:

      That’s funny, I’ve always had pre-birthday depressions, and when I was younger like e.g. 13 they were a lot worse then now… I consider them more or less natural and normal and I haven’t noticed man having them more or something… Maybe I’m simply depressed all the time and before my birthday I let it out 🙂 This year it’s been really good, less than a week.

      And I’m glad that you would have liked it, I’m sure that we’ll find a lot of fun things to do when you come to visit 😉 If you’re up to that – next week there’ll be Madam Butterfly and Figaro’s Wedding and I guess nobody will be really trilled to come with me. But actually it’s not a good idea, because I have a seminar over the weekend… We could do something in December 🙂 You should come to the fair here 🙂

  6. helen Says:

    Happy, happy birthday!!!

    I wish you only good things and enjoyment! Have fun!!!

    (I thought you didn’t use the f-word :))

  7. Asian Butterfly Says:

    kinda like what I am going through right now, except for the birthday thing…

    wanted to things, things i can do on my own if no one’s available…

    but theres on problem. when i’m about to do it, i suddenly feel lazy and try to reason out on my own… now how do i fight that laziness? lol… even writing is a lazy task for me nowadays… 😦

    • teo Says:

      Glad to see you here 🙂

      You know, before I want to see that ballet-show I was thinking exactly the same: “Well, you’re so tired, you were away the whole day, you should stay at home and learn a little bit for tomorrow, you have to travel for an hour, it’s cold, you’re not dressed well enough etc.” And how do I fought that? Just said something like: “Go to hell you winy, lazy, stupid, little me, I’m not that the person – I’m a person who simply does what he want” Hope that can help you too 🙂

  8. Svetlina Says:

    Честитп рожден ден, мъниче!

    Нали си знаеш… семки и бонбонки, бански на лалета и един нов Кай 🙂

    О, и много много много десертчета с чадърчета 🙂

  9. Charly CONCHITA Carlyle Says:

    I came to your blog today to wish you a happy birthday…and stopped to read for awhile and smiled at what I read like I always do on my visits to your blog. I remember when I first moved to NYC at 17, didn’t know a SINGLE PERSON…and I like you wasn’t a huge fan of being alone…but forced to…I explored that very part of myself…that ALONE PART…and began to cherish it…love the ability to say as you did, “fuck you people!” heehee…enjoy my dear…your ability to embrace ALL facets of life is a such a gift and makes you all the more beautiful! So, happy Birthday and CHEERS TO SPONTANEITY! xxx c

    • teo Says:

      Thank you, thank you 🙂 This ability to explore that alone part, simply to enjoy yourself and your perceptions of the world was always an important part of growing up for me, but in the last 4 years I’ve completely “forgotten” about it. So glad that it’s coming back 🙂

      (I’m a little mad at myself, because I was like so late for your BD, while you reminded mine…)

  10. Svetlina Says:

    😛
    I can translate it 🙂
    It went “Dear, FMTWG, please be happy!” (with a spelling mistake).

  11. Sylvia Says:

    hey teo, alles Liebe nachträglich 🙂 !!!
    hoffe, du hattest einen schönen tag?!
    deine gefühle & handlungen kann ich sehr gut nachvollziehen…
    ich finds gut, dass du allein gegangen bist, ein ticket bekommen hast & hoffentlich war es schön!!
    wie ist es in hh, schon bekanntschaften geschlossen? ich hätte große lust, dich mit natascha zu besuchen…
    ganz herzliche grüße,
    sylvia

    • teo Says:

      Thank you 🙂

      The show was really good, I was so glad that I went, it was a real pleasure to watch & hear…

      It’s very nice in HH and I’ve got to know some people already, although only very superficial. You’re welcome to visit of course, it’ll be a lot of fun, but I don’t have a lot of space right now. We’ll see, maybe we can do something for New Year’s 😉

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