How can you not care?

I really don’t know. Every me-me conversation lately is just so ridiculous (yep, I talk to myself too, but not as funny as this girl 😉 ):

Caring and confused me: “How can you not care? You’ve always cared, that’s what have made you better, that’s what have brought you where you are, that’s why you could cope with every problem!”

Some new me I don’t know: “Yeah, that’s right, but it’s over. You’ve always cared too much, from now own you’ll only care as much as it is  absolutely  necessary.

Caring and confused me: “That’s what everyone does, it’s stupid and doesn’t improve the world.”

Some new me I don’t know: “Improving the world is not your job, you have to take care of yourself.”

Caring and confused me: “How can you say that?`I feel like I don’t know you. You’re supposed to be growing up and caring more, not caring less. You’re acting like some irresponsible teenager lately, do you know that?”

Some new me I don’t know: “You can talk and talk the whole day, I still don’t care. Now leave me read my book, if you do so you’ll have 10 minutes sometime soon to prepare yourself for the test. If you don’t pass we’ll make it somehow, and don’t worry about that job – if it doesn’t work out we’ll find something else, it’s fine.”

I’m a calm person or at least I would describe myself as a calm person, but I’ve never been cool (cool meaning “don’t giving a shit“). Lately I feel cool (or do I feel like cooling down?), so cool that it feels cold sometimes…

Do you care?

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7 Responses to “How can you not care?”

  1. greengeekgirl Says:

    I still care, but I’ve gotten a lot more realistic about it, heh. I think that happens as we get older… we start to see the difference between what we wish for and what can feasibly be done.

  2. Charly CONCHITA Carlyle Says:

    Ahhhh…the old response of the psych student…it’s what happens, it’s a means of defense…against all the emotion and “life” that is being thrown at you…now YOU decide whether or not you will succumb to cooling off…or fight for your sensitivities…which are, I think, invaluable…BUT eventually led me to stop seeing patients and concentrate solely on research…xxx c

  3. teo Says:

    @ggg yep, it seems like I’m likely to think that too. But now I think that since I’m asking myself that, I still care too 😉

    @c 😉
    thank you for that insight 🙂 I get the defense thing and I hope that I get to decide without affecting my career-plans. Actually I’ve always thought that I’ll make a good therapist partly because I’m able to keep work and life separate…

  4. bpdisme Says:

    Wow, it sounds like you have a lot of different inner dialogues going on simultaneously. You are clearly a very caring person. Just remember to care for yourself first, as you said. Many of us have a tendency to want to save the world, which is great — just take care of yourself! I know I often find myself in the same boat — you know, the whole psych thing, as C was saying! 😉

    • teo Says:

      Yep, I’ll try 🙂 That psych thing is a burden sometimes… Nothing wrong with wanting to save the world, I just need to get a lot better at everything, so that I can do that and take care of myself 😉

  5. Asian Butteryfly Says:

    Everyday I’m cool and I hate it. Like you I get to talk to myself before, that’s how I weigh changes in my life lately. BUt now i am worst. I don’t even have time to think if what i am doing is good for me or right because I am cool. I don’t know if theres something wrong with the world or if something in me is wrong. All the while, I thought I am alone. tsk tsk…
    I tend to reason out that this coolness is all because of mid-life crisis, but hell, i’m just turning 25 next april. I wish I know what a normal 24 year old person feels so i’d know if i’m way way different from him or her.

    • teo Says:

      🙂 You’re not alone – that’s still something, ha? And I just turned 23 btw, so…

      Still I would say – since you hate it, you’re obviously not that cool, otherwise you would be cool about you being cool 😉

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