Archive for November, 2013

Adults need to play too!

November 30, 2013

There are lots of research articles about how essential it is for the development of children to play. It is good for the imagination, the social competences, the cognitive abilities … for just about everything. Besides, it is kind of natural, that children need to play, nobody would really have something against it.

But at some weird point children grow up and somehow somebody have convinced everyone, that the difference between children and grown-ups is, that grown- ups don’t play children’s’ games anymore. It’s not like gown ups don’t need to play anymore, because they do no less then children, they are just supposed to play differently. With more expensive toys, with tablets, consols, by some hobby etc. No grown up just play like simply jump up and down or something, you are supposed to go to the gym or to a club to move your body and there are lot’s of rules of how you are supposed to do it, nobody just really goes crazy on the dance floor like when children dance just the way they feel like…
You really don’t need anything to play, only your imagination, so why do we need all this expensive toys, to support the economy?

For my birthday last week we went to an indoor playground on a “over 18 night” and it felt like so amazing to just play around like kids. It makes you feel so free and careless, so beautifully happy, like a kid ๐Ÿ™‚ It really gives you the kick, it’s the ultimate drug.

It’s so sad, that most of the adults have to have a drink or something in order to be free enough to be a little bit goofy. That’s stupid, let’s just play!

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Let’s play the minimalistic game!

November 21, 2013

One very good friend of mine send me this link: http://www.theminimalists.com/game/ and suggestes to play this game together. It goes like that:

You have to get rid of one thing you posses on the first day (throw it out, donate, give to someone else, it just have to be out of your place), on the second one two thing, threee thing on the third etc. We agreed to sort this things out and keep them in a box till the end of each month, so that we would 1. have time to reconsider and 2. have to go to the donation station etc. only once a month.

Well, of course this sounded awesome, because I often think that I have too much unnessesary stuff, so we started the game yesterday. In the beginning we have it really easy, because each of us had already sorted somes tuff out to donate/ trash, but they were just lying around in some box waiting for someone to do it. So now at least one a mount we will do it. In the first month we would have to sort out 465 things – let’s see, if we’ll get till there. If it get’s too hard, we could change the rules to one thing every day – it’ll still be better, isn’t it?

I’ll start with some old pants, jeans and shoes (the waffle iron would have to go too soon). What about you?

Communication only when no threat availabe?

November 15, 2013

I’m an optimist. I think that you can solve every kind of conflict or problem between people trough communication or at least help solving it in a peaceful way. I also still believe that people are good in nature and that every “normal” or “wise” person will explore every possible peaceful option before starting threatening others and showing off with power.

Therefore I was a little disappointed to find out that several studies like that one show that communication is only good when people don’t have a threat-option. So we need to make sure that no one have a weapon or is more powerful than the other in order to have a constructive communication? But today everybody has “a weapon”, e.g. money. You’re not happy with your boss? So what would you do? Threat him that you’ll quit, then he’ll threat you that he’ll fire you first? What’s the point? Are we really so stupid, that we would always use the threat option first? Or what would you do? Do you wait with your use of threat, or do you apply it right away, when you have one?

It’s way better first to talk about the problem and search for a solution together, peacefully, like “grown-ups”. I’ve always found that expression so ridiculous. From my personal experiences I would say that children manage conflicts way better than grown-ups for just one reason. When a child have some problem with something, it says it. It says it as it is, without the sandwich-technique or considering what options does it has and if you have better “weapons”. But as it seems, “grown-ups” do the opposite – they communicate constructively only if there’s no possible destructive option. That’s just stupid, so grow up and talk with each other honestly like children, it’ll make the world a better place.

How to communicate with women ?!?

November 6, 2013

Help me, please – there is some really weird rumor about how women “communicate” that is making our lives complicated!

I don’t get it – communication with women “is supposed” to be so exhausting and confusing, you just can’t do anything right – just google “how to communicate with women” and you’ll see. I find that supposed “women language” very difficult – are there classes where you can learn it? (unfortunately – yes, even many…) I simply don’t get this “language” and me and my husband have arguments now and then, because I don’t set him all the communication-traps that women “should” do, but he expects me to… Who thought man this kind of crap? I guess they weren’t knowing, that it’ll make everyone’s lives harder…

Wouldn’t it be nice, if everyone would just say what he/ she thinks and thinks what he/ she says. Who needs these “women/ man languages”? What are they good for besides conflicts and waste of time? Do they really exists? Are women really talking like that, just because we are “supposed to”?

So let’s start a rumor about how everyone (man and women!) is “supposed” to just say what they think and think what they say ๐Ÿ™‚

I feel something you don’t feel…

November 4, 2013

Often enough I get into discussions about this “border”, where something becomes “weird”. Mostly I have to explain myself:

“how come you don’t think this is weird, do you find this normal, would you also do it that way?!?”

and I’m like

“well, no, this may not be “my way”, but I can imagine, that some people could find that not “weird”, but just “their way”” or vice versa.

So after a while I get a:

“OK, it really could be that this other person finds this not weird, but it’s still strange, that he doesn’t find it weird, isn’t it?”

grrrr…

I find it really interesting, that it is hard for many people to imagine how other people feel about things and that it could be really different as the way they feel about the same things. This is actually kind of the foundation of our society – we all strive for individualism and want to be unique and special. And we are. Exactly because the things I feel and think are not the exact same things as you feel and think. Yes, there is some common ground – both can be categorizes as feelings and thoughts. ย For anything further you have to know a person really good and share some values and traits. So usually we peer up with people with similar interests, feelings and thoughts, because it’s only easier. But that doesn’t mean that other people don’t exist – they do! And they probably think you’re weird…