Archive for the ‘psychology’ Category

Fake really is the new real!

March 11, 2014

Do you know how sometimes you are fake-smiling and at some point you start feeling happier, like for real and not fake-happy, although you started with a fake smile? Well, I don’t… But it’s really how it’s supposed to work, there are enough studies showing that the outside can and does affects the inside greatly! And even if it hasn’t really worked for me with a fake smile, it surely works on a cognitive basis, like when you live in a city everyone says it’s the best – yeah, that starts to feel good in a while πŸ™‚ I imagine that this is the only reasonable reason to live in New York and I would gladly buy it …

This TED-talk is about this effect. E.g. it says that people, who were taking powerful poses (standing straight, bright arms etc.) before going to a job interview did a lot better than people who were taking powerless poses (head down, touching the neck etc.). But the bigger deal there for me is, that this was due to them showing more presence and personality. Not a fake personality or an ideal personality, there were showing their own real personality more! So, it’s not like you show a fake image of you when e.g. you fake power before a job interview, but you’re just hiding your real personality more when you don’t…

So isn’t this proof that fake really is the new real?

PS. remember this?

Communication only when no threat availabe?

November 15, 2013

I’m an optimist. I think that you can solve every kind of conflict or problem between people trough communication or at least help solving it in a peaceful way. I also still believe that people are good in nature and that every “normal” or “wise” person will explore every possible peaceful option before starting threatening others and showing off with power.

Therefore I was a little disappointed to find out that several studies like that one show that communication is only good when people don’t have a threat-option. So we need to make sure that no one have a weapon or is more powerful than the other in order to have a constructive communication? But today everybody has “a weapon”, e.g. money. You’re not happy with your boss? So what would you do? Threat him that you’ll quit, then he’ll threat you that he’ll fire you first? What’s the point? Are we really so stupid, that we would always use the threat option first? Or what would you do? Do you wait with your use of threat, or do you apply it right away, when you have one?

It’s way better first to talk about the problem and search for a solution together, peacefully, like “grown-ups”. I’ve always found that expression so ridiculous. From my personal experiences I would say that children manage conflicts way better than grown-ups for just one reason. When a child have some problem with something, it says it. It says it as it is, without the sandwich-technique or considering what options does it has and if you have better “weapons”. But as it seems, “grown-ups” do the opposite – they communicate constructively only if there’s no possible destructive option. That’s just stupid, so grow up and talk with each other honestly like children, it’ll make the world a better place.

Random Impressions

October 2, 2010

Lately I wanted to write so many posts but I never come to doing it, so here I’ll trow some random impressions from the trips lately (Bulgaria 2010, Bremen, the Congress):

Bulgaria 2010:

This year for the first time I wasn’t saying to myself “vacation in Bulgaria – never again!” It was really nice, I don’t know why I wasn’t bothered by the things that do usually bother me in Bulgaria, they were still there, just didn’t bother me, it was very nice πŸ™‚

Something that left a really good impression in me was, that I didn’t see a single beggar, it was full with street-musicians or street-artist, but no people, who simply ask for money, this was simply amazing (maybe I was just somehow extremely lucky).


So how is the congress going?

September 28, 2010


My presentation is tomorrow, I hope that the statement above will apply to it too πŸ™‚

It’s really interesting, it fits good in this period of change that I am right now, it shows me new directions and ideas, it’s also really, really exhausting…

So I’ll keep it short and not really informative, but you’ll get a decent update after it’s over πŸ™‚

PS. What congress? This one πŸ™‚ (remember this and this)

Power, Forgiveness and Revenge – a Study

August 17, 2010

What are you more likely to choose- revenge or forgiveness, if you have more power than the other person?

I’ve always thought, that forgiving is what the stronger ones do. It takes a lot of self-confidence, maturity, feeling secure personally and confidence in your self-efficacy. Revenge is more like what you would do in defense, when you’re affected, when you feel threatened and just want to strike back, to show that you have that power. Forgiveness is what you do when you know, that you have that power, that you’re strong enough and don’t feel the need to prove it to someone anymore. That’s a big part of the growing-up process to me.


Glasses and Personality

July 24, 2010

Wearing glasses do affect how people see you, e.g. as more conscientious, smart (here; here). There is even some correlation between introversion, low openness for experience and wearing glasses (here), glasses can make you less attractive and harder to remember (here). What do I think of that crap?


Reading the Mind in the Eyes…

February 16, 2010

It’s actually a test for autism, but I find it interesting just for fun too. Take it if you want and see how good you can read the mind in the eyes- I think we take this ability for granted most of the time… Enjoy πŸ™‚

The actual Coping Koala :)

December 8, 2009

So- I want to tell you shortly, what is this Coping Koala thing really about. The Coping Koala, originally Coping Cat, now FRIENDS, is a prevention program for children, thought to improve their social and stress coping skills, to prevent anxiety disorders and depression by building emotional resilience.


The best way to get over (pre-birthday) depression !

November 26, 2009

Hi guys πŸ™‚

I just want to tell you what the best way to ger over pre-birthday depression is: to throw a party !!! And a really good one if possible πŸ˜‰


Gloomy weather- gloomy mood- gloomy life?

November 3, 2009

So, let’s start with something small, but very interesting in my opinion πŸ™‚

Everyone has got the feeling sometimes, that on a rainy day the world is just not so bright and beautiful, one feels depressed, floppy, sluggish etc.  😦