Posts Tagged ‘growing up’

Communication only when no threat availabe?

November 15, 2013

I’m an optimist. I think that you can solve every kind of conflict or problem between people trough communication or at least help solving it in a peaceful way. I also still believe that people are good in nature and that every “normal” or “wise” person will explore every possible peaceful option before starting threatening others and showing off with power.

Therefore I was a little disappointed to find out that several studies like that one show that communication is only good when people don’t have a threat-option. So we need to make sure that no one have a weapon or is more powerful than the other in order to have a constructive communication? But today everybody has “a weapon”, e.g. money. You’re not happy with your boss? So what would you do? Threat him that you’ll quit, then he’ll threat you that he’ll fire you first? What’s the point? Are we really so stupid, that we would always use the threat option first? Or what would you do? Do you wait with your use of threat, or do you apply it right away, when you have one?

It’s way better first to talk about the problem and search for a solution together, peacefully, like “grown-ups”. I’ve always found that expression so ridiculous. From my personal experiences I would say that children manage conflicts way better than grown-ups for just one reason. When a child have some problem with something, it says it. It says it as it is, without the sandwich-technique or considering what options does it has and if you have better “weapons”. But as it seems, “grown-ups” do the opposite – they communicate constructively only if there’s no possible destructive option. That’s just stupid, so grow up and talk with each other honestly like children, it’ll make the world a better place.

Calvin & Hobbes are all grown up – so I’ll have to grow up too…

August 2, 2011

Hey there my dear old fellows,

lately (more like always) I’ve been refusing to grow up, acting more irresponsible and struggling with myself about stuff I have to do, but I don’t want to etc. Yesterday I’ve stumbled upon several grown up Calvin & Hobbes strips, which reminded me, that growing up can be nice too :). Here an inspiration for me and my fellow-growing-up-denier:

by KevLev

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Do You Know Me?

March 17, 2011

Take this short test and you’ll know it 😉 :

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How can you not care?

November 24, 2010

I really don’t know. Every me-me conversation lately is just so ridiculous (yep, I talk to myself too, but not as funny as this girl 😉 ):

Caring and confused me: “How can you not care? You’ve always cared, that’s what have made you better, that’s what have brought you where you are, that’s why you could cope with every problem!”

Some new me I don’t know: “Yeah, that’s right, but it’s over. You’ve always cared too much, from now own you’ll only care as much as it is  absolutely  necessary.

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Does your Fear grow with you?

October 31, 2010

The tittle says it all actually. I have the feeling, that the older I get, the more anxious I get. When I was like 16 or something I was “fearless” – an accident, a killer on the next corner, an apocalypse, I didn’t care. I didn’t bother thinking about it. I felt strong, lucky, kind of prepared and sure in my survival. Kind of “So what if there is a killer on the next corner, I know that I’ll find a way to escape and/or kick his/her ass, to survive”.  Not that I was really stronger or anything, this was just my state of mind and it was helpful in many situations.

Today it’s not really so. I just have the feeling, that even if I survive it like before, it’ll have more dramatic consequences. I have the feeling that certain survival tactics, while survivable for the rough loner-me, are not survivable  for the good, humanistic, loved, loving and future-orientated me.

I don’t know if that makes any sense to you, but I can put it in a simple question: Are you more anxious now as when you were younger and why?

Acceptance…

July 10, 2010

I’ve just realized that today: for me acceptance is just a pretty word for “I declare myself for defeated”.

If I accept the things, like they are, I admit that I’m not capable or don’t want to change them… And that’s just wrong, I think.

A lot of people say to me at one point or another: “You’ll see when you grow up, that’s just the rebellion of the youth, it’ll go away…” (is it a disease, or a mental disorder?) or “Once I was also young and stupid like you, but someday you’ll see that it’s senseless and you’ll grow up”.

So let me translate that (to myself): “Growing up means giving up, if you want to be part of our “normal grown-up club” you’ll have to give up and call that “grown-up”.

Well, no thanks, grown-ups, your club sucks big time! I’ll have to accept my absence of acceptance (is that some kind of paradox now or what?) and do the best of it :).

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Faith ?

March 17, 2010

Shortly I was told, that I’m naive and childish and that I need to grow up.

Why?

Because I’ve said that I believe in the good in people, also that people can change, that they can love each other, despite mistakes or differences, and that no one needs to hate someone, because hate is not a natural component of peoples relationships.

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Pre-birthday depression ?

November 21, 2009

So people- how do you manage the time where your birthday is coming up?

It’s hard, at least for me… Even though this year it seemed like it’s going really well, the pre-birthday depression is getting me 🙂 May be it’s because one expects that it comes- i hate this. Just because we think, that something should happen, it does??? Crazy, ha?

But try not to think about it- it doesn’t really works for me. The good thing is, that it should be over with the birthday- which is tomorrow. That’s good- not much time for pre-birthday depression. Sometimes it comes month before it, it’s like pre-birthday black hole…

In the meantime I’ll try to grow up 😉